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Recovering From the Blame Game

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Playing The Blame Game

These two shirts are perfect examples of shifting blame and avoiding responsibility.  The first one says, “Blame my sister” and the other one says, “If no one saw it then I didn’t do it”.  Is anyone else getting visions of a hamster wheel here?  It could be funny except for the fact that this blame game often leaves behind a lot of confusion, pain and sometimes devastating consequences as a result.

Everyone has an “oops” from time to time, and some are bigger than others, but that’s not the real problem.  Things get complicated and go downhill quickly when our fear of the consequences or rejection from others drives you to disown mistakes and play the blame game.

At the end of the day, does anyone ever really win by playing the blame game?  Blaming generally serves to makes things worse; it makes you look small while creating dissention and distrust.

We live in a world where many people often try to shift blame and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.  The problem with this is that they really aren’t fooling anybody and actually miss out on an opportunity to turn things around for themselves and others.  Relationships can be made or broken depending on how you respond to this type of situation.  I have found the following points helpful:

Come clean – This is really refreshing for most people.  Being truthful can make you feel vulnerable, but sincerity and humility go a long way toward rectifying the situation.  When someone has come clean with me, I can honestly say that I’ve appreciated and respected them more and we’ve been able to overcome the issues that have gone amiss.

Seek a remedy – Once you come clean you are in a position to remedy the situation.  This is your opportunity to redeem your company’s good name or manage your personal brand in the most productive way possible.  When handled properly, this is your chance to stand out and be memorable in a powerful, positive way.

Learn and grow – Instead of beating yourself up, look back with an eye toward identifying what led to the situation and consider what you might have done differently.  Determine what changes can be made to prevent the same thing from happening in the future.  Engage in some proactive goal setting to get you on the right track, and if need be, bring others on board for accountability.

Move forward – Commit to leaving things better than they were.  While some things cannot be reversed, the negative effects can be mitigated and often you can alleviate the difficulty.  Many times people have been brought together in a unique way through adverse circumstances and it can be a turning point for good when handled properly.

Spiritual perspective:  The blame game is the oldest one around.  You don’t have to look any further than Genesis to read all about how it works. GOD’S WORD Translation says it like this in chapter 3:12 – Adam blamed Eve and ultimately her tried to blame God when he said, “That woman, the one you gave me, gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”  It’s almost humorous to think of hiding, lying and blaming God and yet we’ve all done it at some point.  The quicker we can admit our mistakes to God and others, the sooner we can receive forgiveness, hold our head up and get on the path to restoration.

Mistakes are an inevitable part of life; we all make them.  It’s what you do afterward that reveals character and gives you the ability to transform the situation.  Every day you are creating a legacy so make it one worth remembering!

Truth For Your Life:  What have you learned about recovering from the blame game?  Where have you been able to turn things around and remedy one of your mistakes?  How have you been able to regroup when you were the one being blamed?  Your comments and feedback are welcome and encouraged.

Get ready to take back control of your life!  My Clear Life Purpose™ daily e-Coaching is designed to guide you through a 10-step process where you’ll be able to identify your own unique gifts and strengths, while discovering the passion that stirs your heart to take action.  You can get back on track – find out more here.

Scripture is taken from GOD’S WORD®, © 1995 God’s Word to the Nations. Used by permission of Baker Publishing Group.

© Copyright 2010 Bridget Haymond.  All rights reserved.

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© 2010 Bridget Haymond ~ Identifying and igniting your gifts and strengths for a life of passion and purpose

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